1. Ruffles. My close is CHOCK-FULL of them and I am SO SICK of them. White (and other colors too, but predominantly, they're barf-inducingly white) ruffles everywhere I turn. Shoot me now. I hate ruffles. In all colors. Toss! Burn! Or better yet, SELL.
2. Closed pumps. They just make me feel ill. I don't care if they're Louboutins-- please get them out of my face. Like, now.
3. Frumpy, loose dresses that end mid-calf. Here's one thing I've always hated and will always hate! They are the bastard children of girly, proper-looking knee-length dresses and summery maxi dresses. What's up? Do you like looking stumpy? Is that your Danny de V. look?
3.5 I am really kinda starting to hate florals. But I still take mine out for the occasional frolicking... BUT..It's your last hurrah, all ye floral tanktops/dresses/shorts/skirts!
And here are the things I am so MADLY, MADLY, MADLY, MADLYYYYYYYYY in love with!
Thing I am in love with #1: SHORTSSSSS!!!
I've always been a shorts person (even when I was morbidly obese and had sad tree-stump legs, I insisted on elephant-ing around in Daisy Dukes) and now that I've finally lost some of the beloved, faithful and loyal lard (heartbreak has its upsides) I am back to short-collecting with a VENGEANCE
And here I shall lovingly guide you through the wonderful process that is short-shopping...
1.A Khaki shorts are adorable! The shorter the cuter but long shorts work too! :)
1.B White cotton/linen/fine denim shorts of any length are delectable, AD INFINITUM!
1.C Here is what I feel to be the CURRENT must-have; leather shorts! Insane, I know, and potentially HOOKERISH (biggest insult I could ever throw at anyone) but when carried well and paired off correctly they could look awesome!!
Thing I am in love with #2: KNITS
What white ruffles were to me before (A.K.A., my constant standby, my lover, my best friend), chunky knits are to me now. Gosh. I am so in love with knits. They make me crazy. I love my knits. I love my knits. I LOVE MY KNITSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! Please, preppy people throw away your polo shirts and your pearl earrings and your two-tone rolexes (okay, I'm being dramatic and I don't really mean this) and invest in KNITS!!!
2.A Preppy knits. So gawjuuuuussss! So clean-cut! They say," I come from an airconditioned world and need not worry about all my makeup melting off my face!" They say, "I am not a hooker and need not expose my cleavage!" They say, "I will never wear a denim mini skirt with a cleavage top and heels!" They say, "I AM EDUCATED! I COME FROM AN OLD-RICH FAMILY! (Or at least, I pretend to be)"
Thing I love # 3: Easy cotton or linen pieces with peter pan collars.
Self-explanatory. I am definitely hoarding all that I will see of these!
Thing I love #4: Soft, beat-up denim anything
So everyone's doing the faded denim vest and floral dress thing. And everyone's doing the long denim polo and leggings thing. But it's not yet over, lover, for your faded-denim whatever (in my opinion, at least!). When worn with tiny, tiny beat-up denim shorts (yes, denim on denim! as prophesied by my ultimate style icon, Garance Dore) they are SAVED from their fashion death! It's time for a revival, baby!!!
To be continued!